First Day of School

Even though school started 6 weeks ago for us, I still wanted to share about it.

We are all excited about school starting, but I think I was more anxious.  I could not sleep.  I was so worried that Mia would have a bad experience again this year.

Rewind back to last year, First day of school, we were all excited.  Mia was starting Kindergarten, Zoe in 5^th and Erika starting High School!  Boy, what a gap in ages, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  So, I walk Mia into her classroom, just like all of the other parents.  When it’s time for the parents to leave, I walk to the door but Mia is holding onto me.  I told her that I had to go.  It’s time for learning with the other students.  She immediately starts bawling.  She grabs my waist, I pull her off, she grabs my leg and says, “Mommy, don’t leave me.”  I don’t know what to do, so I decided to stay for a little bit until she calms down.  Every time I walk to the door, she gets up and follows me and starts crying again.   I finally make my way out the door and there she is on the other side trying to pry it open.  I am holding it on the other side and the teacher finally convinces Mia to sit down and join the class.  As I walk to the car, I am now crying. This went on for several weeks.  I couldn’t stand it anymore.  Boy, if that wasn’t the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  I didn’t expect her to act like that. The older two never had a problem, but they also went to daycare.  Mia stayed home with me, she was my little sidekick and we did everything together.

Day two of school, Mia is not eating lunch, she is crying, “I want my mommy.”  I end up having to eat lunch with her everyday.  The other kids were now getting upset that their mommy is not around, and why aren’t they having lunch together.  This also went on for several weeks.

Fast forward to the middle of the year, Mia is not crying anymore, and I am not going to lunch with her anymore.  Now, she is now having bellyaches.  I was getting seriously worried, she would go to the office and they would call me almost everyday to come and get her.  She ended up being severely constipated.  It was so bad that she would sometimes run a fever and be hunched over in pain, looking greenish-yellow.   At this point, I was seriously considering home-schooling for the rest of the year.  Her teacher, who happens to be a friend of mine, thought it was because Mia didn’t like her.  But it was just that she missed me so much, it was affecting her stomach.

Finally!  It was the end of the school year, we had survived!  It felt like torture sometimes, I felt like my heart was being ripped to pieces, but we made it!  WHEW!!

Summer was great, not a bellyache all summer….fast forward….

First day of school again.  I wake everyone up, in Zombie mode, from not sleeping all night, worrying that she is going to cry again and grab my leg.  I prepared myself for the worst, but kept and optimistic mindset.   The bell rings and I give her a kiss and a hug as we wait for the teacher to come out and greet us.  I am now starting to get nervous as the time comes to say good-bye.  The teacher takes roll at the door and explains what the kids will be doing that morning.  The moment has finally come, the teacher tells the kids to say good-bye to their parents.  We all wave and blow kisses.  As I stand there thinking, wow, my baby is growing up so fast.  It’s time, she walks into the classroom, turns around and waves one more time.  She is smiling!  Not a single tear this year.  I am so proud of my baby girl!

Of course, I turn around, and cry happy tears all the way to my car.

Happy as can be

Volunteering at Camp Whittle

We decided to do good for others. A friend asked if we would like to volunteer for a weekend in Big Bear. We clean up the camp ground in exchange for a cabin and meals. “Sounds like fun”, I said. So, we did it. Off we went on our journey to the top of the world, or so it felt like. The trip was two and a half hours, but this time we got see lots of cool stuff. There were Joshua trees, and mountains all around.

When we got to the bottom of the mountain, and started our uphill drive is when the real sight seeing began. There were tall trees and beautiful landscapes, there were scary cliffs and little creeks. We saw lots of birds soaring above, as if they were showing us where to look for the next amazing sight. When we arrived at the top of the snow capped mountains, there it was, a gorgeous lake surrounded by huge trees, with ducks swimming, people fishing and more birds soaring. The cabins surrounding the lake were stunning.

We drove around the North Shore side of the lake on a dirt road up the mountain to The Rim Of The World… there waiting with all of its beauty was Camp Whittle in Fawnskin, Big Bear. Surrounded by nothing but huge pine trees, it was quite the sight. We checked in and unloaded our stuff in a cabin with nothing but bunk beds. The bathroom was a community bath house with 5 showers and 5 toilet stalls. There were giant Red Ants and spiders and bugs everywhere. Not the place to be if you are afraid of bugs. After we dropped off our stuff, we went into town, Big Bear City, and ate dinner. It’s a small town and not much is open after 8 pm. But we managed to find a Denny’s.

Back to the cabin we drove, in the pitch black darkness, it was kind of scary but cool at the same time.
The kids were too excited to sleep, and the adults were too, but we finally managed to sleep and wake up early in the morning for breakfast. Wow!! Breakfast was great! The served all kinds of good food, juice, coffee and lots of water.

We got our assignments and went off to rake up pine needles from around the cabins. Whew, that was hard work!! Mia was tired after the first hour, but managed to help as much as she could. We stopped for lunch which was great and went back to work. After about an hour we started noticing the blisters on our hands and fingers. We were getting tired and sore from raking and raking and piling those pine needles. We kept motivated by saying, “Hard work pays off”. And it did! We took a break around 3 pm and our guide took us over to the petting zoo so our hard working kids could feed the animals. There were donkeys, a sheep, goats and llamas. The girls had fun feeding the animals until one of the goast decided to ram Mia and knock her down, then he started ramming everyone else. It wasn’t a very nice goat. But the others were sweet and had no anger issues.

Back to the cabins to finish up for the day we went after the feeding. By that time, all of the girls were burnt out on raking pine needles and went to play on the rocks while my friend and I finished. Finally it was time for dinner and to stop for the day. We were beat! Sore, tired and filthy. Our feet and hands hurt so bad it was hard to eat. We managed to eat then went to shower. Ahhhh, did that feel good!!! After a little rest, we decided to go see the sunset at the lake. It was cold and windy but beautiful, none the less. It was peaceful and gorgeous. We decided to head back and start a campfire in our designated pit. It was great! Two women, and their girls, roasting marshmallows for smores. Boy were they good smores.

After we finished our smores, we headed back to our cabin for a little chat time and rest. We layed in our bunks, and talked about the day. When we couldn’t keep our eyes open any longer, it was time for bed. The older girls had a hard time sleeping but Mia was asleep as soon as lights went out. I was restless but managed to fall asleep after a few toss and turns. Then, we heard the crunching and scratching…the girls looked out the window and there he was, a bear!!! Not too big, but not small either. Right outside out cabin he walked by. In the morning we saw the paw tracks, but thankfully the bear was gone. I’m pretty sure he smelled the strawberries I had thrown out because they went bad. They sure did smell good though.

Off to breakfast we went, then back to the cabin to pack up and head home. Sore, tired and greatful for a wonderful experience, we left happy and feeling good about doing a good deed for others. How fun would it be to stay at camp Whittle for the week and enjoy the outdoors? I know the campers will have a great time and enjoy the cleaned up camp grounds. We will be goimg back next year to help out again.

Loved Ones and Anxiety

What do you do when you know someone who is in pain, emotional pain? How do you help someone you love to cope with the pain, the anxiety, the fear? You can’t say…”I know how you feel” unless you actually have felt that way before. How many people can say, I have felt the pain of severe anxiety, the emotional distress of not wanting to face anyone?

Do you know how it feels to have your body clam up? You shake, you shiver, you have extreme stomach pains, you feel like bugs are crawling on your skin and your fingers tingle from the numbness. Loud noises make you nauseous, certain smells trigger a gag reflex. Your head feels like it’s going to explode. You want out of your body now!

Sleep is difficult, time goes by slowly. You pray you or your loved one will get better every hour of every day. You feel like you can’t talk to anyone abut your problem or they will think you are crazy, but you know you are NOT!!!

You try to breathe, but inhaling is difficult, your chest feels like it’s going to cave in. You try to eat, but just the thought of eating makes you feel ill. If people weren’t so mean and opinionated, if they didn’t have to criticize you about your hair, your clothes, your shoes. Maybe that would make a difference. Maybe, if everyone knew how that person who just wants to die felt inside, they would stop the cruelty.

But the world must go on with cruel, vindictive people in it. Until a new generation of healers arise to show the consciousness of others how to treat everyone as equal, no matter what. Not everyone is smart, or pretty, or creative. But we are all human, with feelings. We are all capable of loving without prejudice. My hope is that someday soon, the tides will change for the better good of mankind. Let’s work together to stop the pain.

Spring

Spring.

Streets of Terror

We live in a time where every street corner is a reign of terror. I’m scared for the young. Our children are growing up in a world of violence and terrorism. I miss the days of not knowing the dangers of society. Our children will not know that feeling. The authorities and higher ups say, “don’t expose your children to the truth.” How can we not? But how do you explain to a 6 year old that people do bad things just to be bad. They must know about the danger in the world that surrounds them. We can not lie to them. It is our duty as parents to protect our children, but they can be blind to the evil in this world.

I know I cannot be there every moment of the day, but I wish I could. I am scared to death to let my kids go anywhere without me. I fear there may a suspicious package or crazed lunatic at school, at the mall, at the store. You just never know now. Our streets are turning into that of a Third World Country. It’s time our Country does something to help the mentally ill. We can no longer push these people aside like they don’t exist. Maybe if more people were tolerant of those with behavior problems from the beginning, our Country would be different.

But some are taught to hate, and taught greed and believe that material things make you who you are. I teach love and compassion and acceptance for all. My wish is that everyone would see the world in a better way, a peaceful way.

My heart goes out to all those affected by the violence in this Country and in the World.

Peace and Love to all…

Very Inspiring Blogger Award..Thank You Supernova.

The rules of this award are:

1. Display the Award Certificate on your website.

2. Announce your win with a post and link to whoever presented you with the award.

3. Present 15 awards to deserving bloggers.

4. Drop them a comment to tip them off after you have linked them in the post.

5. Post 7 interesting things about yourself.

Thank you so much supernova (http://detectingblackpool.wordpress.com/) for this award. It is in an honor.

Supernova’s (http://detectingblackpool.wordpress.com/) blog is a great place to go and see the beautiful places in the UK that we would not otherwise see living in another Country. Thank you supernova for sharing your amazing photos and finds with us.

Here are the 7 things about me:

1. When I was 6, I wanted to be a school teacher.

2. I ended up being a Legal Secretary.

3. I ate a dog biscuit when I was a kid.

4. I love coffee.

5. I won the Turkey Trot race in 8th grade and got a pumpkin pie as an award.

6. I am deathly afraid of heights.

7. I will always stop to help someone in need on the street.

It is now my great honor and privilege to nominate my choices for this great award, so without further ado and in no particular order, here they are:

1. http://www.costaricatravelblog.com/

2. http://talainsphotographyblog.wordpress.com/

3. http://randomuzings.wordpress.com/2

4. http://cherylmoore.wordpress.com/

5. http://amaltaas.wordpress.com/

6. http://johncoyote.wordpress.com/

7. http://dominosodone.wordpress.com/2

8. http://lesuperkikke.wordpress.com/

Congratulations to you, fellow bloggers.

Family Is Most Important

Even if that means having to drive or fly or ride hundreds or thousands of miles.

When I found out that my sister, who lives 4 hours away, had an accident on her bicycle and shattered her leg, I was worried sick! Literally!! (I was sick from a bad cold.) I wished I could help take care of her when she needed me most. So, I made it happen. When she was released from the hospital, I made the necessary arrangements and drove myself and two of my girls up to Clovis to help my sisters mother-in-law take care of my sister.

The car ride from Santa Clarita to Clovis is pretty boaring, nothing to see but fields and dairy and grain mills. The girls did very good on the drive up and back. When Mia started to ask, “How long until we get there.” I made a game of it. I would tell them how many more miles when we passed the marker and then tell them how many minutes. I would try to point out whatever looked attractive to kill time. We also played “I Spy” but that got to be redundant since there were only cars, trucks and billboards most of the way.

When we arrived at our destination, we were all relieved and ready to visit with my sister. The anticipation of seeing what her leg looked like was eating at us. There she was, lying in bed with four rods and a metal bar holding her leg together. Holy cow, that wasn’t what I expected to see. “Her leg is under contruction”, I said to the girls. They kinda giggled and asked their Aunt if it hurt. Apparently, it didn’t hurt at the moment because she had some pretty good pain medicine. Any movement though, and it hurt like heck! Thank goodness her leg doesn’t have to stay in that contraption for long, another surgery is scheduled to take out the pins and place a plate and screws in. Then…the real healing can begin.

Helping my sister do the little things that we all take for granted every day was a humbling experince for me and the girls. We can adjust ourselves in bed to get comfortable. We can get ourselves out of bed, and walk down the hall. We can get up to make sandwich or get a drink of water. All these things, basically anything, she can no longer do by herself. She will not be able to put any kind of pressure on her leg for months to come.

I wish I lived closer so I could help more. It’s hard being far away and knowing your loved ones need you. There are a few family members in Clovis that help out. Thankfully, she has a great mother-in-law and father-in-law who are willing to take care of her when no one else can. Her husband is awesome and her step-childern are great care-takers too. I felt better knowing that she will be in good hands. We will make another visit in a few weeks to see how she is progressing.

On a lighter note, My sister just became a grandmother and her son happens to live in Clovis too! I got to see my two-week old great-nephew, that was a special treat!

Anita’s Rose

Anita's Rose.