Universal Stardust

We are all star-dust, our bodies are formed from the particles in the universe.  We are the stars in the sky, watching over the worlds.  Our souls are bright lights shining up above. When a star’s light goes out, a soul is reborn, sent to earth or another world to become whole again. Our conscious mind grows when we are in human form.   Even as plants and animals we have thoughts and feelings, they just don’t have a voice to speak the words.

Many people don’t know themselves in their conscious minds, only in their physical bodies.  They are on a lower plane, they must raise their vibrations to learn about thier higher self, reaching a higher ground.  We need to come together as a whole, one body, one mind, one spirit, one love.  This planet is our body, the people are like the appendages, the hands, feet, finger, toes, etc.  Without love as a whole, our spirit is nothing, we are nothing. Without kind words and actions, our worth is nothing.

 

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The homeless

I saw a homeless man sitting outside a grocery store last weekend. He asked if I could spare some change and, I gave him my .60 cents. That is all I had left, since payday wasn’t for a few days. I gave him 2 Gatorade because he looked dehydrated. He was very grateful and said, you know what I want? I just want someone to talk to for a few minutes, so we talked for a bit, I learned that his name.is Cody,he is from San Diego, CA, has no family here in town but has family in Minnesota.  He thought he could make it here, in Santa Clarita, but has fallen on hard luck.  He rides his bike that has a crate on two wheels attached to the back everywhere.  He fixes his bike with his spare money because it’s his transportaion.  He was so much happier when I left, than when I walked into the store.  Not because I have him 60 cents, but because I gave him my time, a smile, my voice and an ear to listen rather than shunning him. He has a heart and soul, just like the rest of us.  So, the next time someone asked for spare change, maybe what they really want is you to lend an ear and be a friend, if only for a moment.

Rose, A Fragile Flower In My Friend Garden

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Today, I met an unsuspected friend.  As we were walking along, we heard her crying off in the distance.  We stopped at the shuttering sound of her words.  ”I don’t want to live anymore, I don’t know what I did to deserve this in my life but I can’t handle it anymore.”  We paused, in our steps, and listened as the fragile lady sobbed to someone on the other end of the phone.  We were sad for her and the words she had rigidly spoken to whoever was listening.

Our feet could not move as if we were stopped in time to listen to the hurt in her voice.  We stood, pondering what we should do, not wanting to interfere and seem nosey in her business but deep down we knew she needed a friend, just someone to talk to, even if they were a stranger.   I didn’t want to see her face on the news or hear that she perished that night.  For one life deserves to live just as much as the next.

After talking about it, we decided to walk over and see if this hurt-stricken lady wanted to talk.  I picked a yellow cal lily flower from the nearby landscaped building and said, “This might cheer her up a bit.”  My friend agreed that it might help.  As we got closer we notice she was sobbing with her head down, no longer on the phone with her brownish-beige, little dog.

I walked up to her and handed her the flower as she looked up.  I then asked, “Are you okay?”  She responded with, “Who are you?”  And I replied, “Just a friend walking by.”  She said, “No, I am not okay.”  And started to cry again.   We sat down next to her as she sobbed and told us of how she did not wish to go on in this life.  She was sixty-two and recently made homeless and how other bad things had happened to her and she just wants to go home, just like Dorothy  says,” there’s no place like home,” if only she had a home to go to.   I was deeply saddened by her story and so was my friend.  I am sure whatever she had done in this life wasn’t bad enough for her to feel this badly and to leave her dog and herself homeless, living in her car.

We spoke for a long while about life and the reasons for things happening that way they do.  Life is not fair at times, her dog is old and it’s hard for the dog to live in the car. We talked about our kids and the joy they bring.   We discussed how people are different and how she had been judged because of her difference, but I only saw a human in need of a kind word and a hug.  She is a good person, I could tell, she was smart and knowledgeable about a lot of things.  She had her identity stolen and has no family here, but does in other parts of the country.  She did have a little bit of money, but needs a home.

After talking for a while and giving her dog the rest of my water, we looked up some shelters in the area.  My friend got a pen and paper from a volunteer sheriff who happened to be driving by.  He suggested that our new friend go to the police station and they would be able to help.  She declined, but was interested in going to the shelter we found for her.

As we got up to greet the officers, who kept driving by, we realized we didn’t know each others’ names, We introduced ourselves, and found out her name is Rose, but goes by Zoe, (pronounced like Joe) which happens to by my daughters’ name (but pronounced like Joey.)  I was surprised when she said that, she even knew that Zoe is Greek and the meaning is life, which is why we named her that.   We walked together to the edge of the sidewalk.   She thanked us for stopping and taking the time to talk to a total stranger, which most people would have ignored.  We wished her the best in life and told her everything would work out, just stay positive.  We gave her hugs and pats to the dog and went our separate ways.

Sometimes in life, you just need a friend to tell you it’s going to be okay, even if that friend is a total stranger.  Life is too short to ignore the warning you might hear off in the distance.  Always trust your inner feelings.  And lend a hand, even if it’s a kind word of encouragement and a hug.  You never know who’s life you might have saved that day.

Best wishes Rose,

With Love and Light, from your new friends…

Saving Angel

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For the past two days, a bird was sitting on my fence out in my backyard. I thought it was strange that a bird was out on the fence after dark and was wondering why she was sitting there, looking at me, like she had a message to give. I opened the screen door and walked outside towards her, as I got closer, she flew down to the other side of the fence, but did not fly away. I turned around and came back into the house and closed the screen door again. I went back to what I was doing and again, she was sitting on the fence, peeping away, hopping along the fence, back and forth as if she was anxious about something. I thought, there is something going on for the bird to sit there in the dark. But it did not connect, yet.

The night went on, strangely, I had a dream about helping a little boy, who was trying to get into a tree, once I helped him up, the boys’ grandmother came over and thanked me. Then I woke up. I came downstairs in the morning, again, sitting there on the fence, was the same bird. She would go over to the tree, then to the fence, then back to the tree. I decided to take a picture of her since she was sitting there on a branch and was not leaving. She was beautiful and I could almost see the concern in her eyes. She got louder as I got closer to her but still did not move. All I could think is there is something she is trying to tell me but I didn’t know what! I was taking pictures of random plants and then I saw the bird look over at the tree. Then it dawned on me, I wonder if she’s missing a baby or something. As I looked over at the tree, with my camera lens, I scoped out the area and there he was, on the ground! A little baby bird had fallen out of his nest. I snapped a quick picture, put my camera down and ran over to the tree.

As I was running over, my big St. Bernard, Lady followed me. She spotted the bird too! I freaked out as she snatched up the little baby bird in her mouth and ran off!! I yelled, “Lady, drop it now”! Thankfully, she listened to me and did just that! I was so worried for the furry little guy, he must of thought , that was it! Good-bye cruel world! I scooped up the baby bird and gently rubbed his head with my thumb. He was still alive! I was so grateful to see him breathing, then he opened his little mouth as if to say, I’m hungry, please feed me. I called to my daughters to come and help out. They immediately came to the rescue.

We got a stool and tried to figure out where the nest was. After about 10 minutes, we finally saw it. It was hidden really well, right in the middle of the peach tree. After squeezing my body into the tree, that has the strongest little branches I have ever climbed, I was able to see the opening of the nest. I asked my daughter to hand me the baby bird. I gently placed the little guy back into the nest after feeling to make sure I didn’t place it on top of another bird. I then managed to climb up higher into the tree and saw that the little bird had a sibling. It looked at me, opened its mouth wide as to say, I’m hungry again, then realized I was not his momma and ducked his head tightly into the nest.

I jumped down, out of the tree, wiped off the dust and took a deep breath. I felt relieved that the bird was okay and seemed like it would survive now that mom and dad know he is nestled safely back home. After about ten minutes, my daughter said, “Mom, the bird is still sitting on the fence, looking in the house, I think she wants to thank you.” I stepped outside, looked at the bird and said, “You’re welcome!” Then she flew back up into the nest and had a conversation with her mate.

I hope the baby bird survives this ordeal that must have been terrifying. I believe my dream signified the boy as the bird and the grandmother as the mother bird. Good deed for today…Done!

Oh, we decided to name him Angel, because he had angelic feathers coming out of his little head.

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Love my girls…

My girls are my life. I could not imagine life without them. It’s not easy being a mother of two teenagers and a 7 year old. Add the dogs and the cats and man-o-man this is a house- full!

Trying to juggle work and home life can be difficult and tiresome, especially with after-school activities and competitions, etc. I find it difficult to have time for myself lately. I sometimes wonder if I did the right thing by going back to work, even though it is only part time. I still feel overwhelmed at times. So, I am using photography as an outlet, a great outlet, I might add. It takes me into a zone that no other thing can do. I am at peace.

Now, If I could just get my kids to clean up after themselves more often without getting on their case, that would be great! Still, life is great and I could not ask for a better family. Some might say I am lucky, but I think, there was little luck involved and more like, lots of love.

A cobweb man

His pain in the words of another. My pain in the words of a mother.

He will never say how much pain he is in, as it has always been. He used to be so vain when he was a young man. Always a wanderer, philanderer, singer, guitar player for the band. Now the years have passed, two marriages failed. Six children, five step-children, many grandchildren and a widower in his cobwebbed mind.

Tell me when I should have forgiven him for all the pain he caused to so many people. Why have I grown a bitter feeling, instead forgiveness. He was my world in my youth. We all looked up to him for strength, maturity and grace and advise. Instead we got denial, cover-ups, deceit and lies. The hurt is too deep for my sister and her world that he took away.

I remember the days of waiting for him to get home, mom told us he was working, but she knew he was flirting, hurting, being selfish,being the you that you are. Leaving another scar in her heart, driving their love apart.

Time to move on now, even though I have tried before. I know the end is near. I don’t know if I will be upset and that, I fear. I have a promise to my children, that I will never let them have a father like him. They are my world, my light, how could a man be so selfish to not show how much he cares to his own children?

I am writing these words for him, as I try to forgive him for the man he has been. May he find peace and happiness as he flows back into the universal pool of energy and come back as a better man.

Loved Ones and Anxiety

What do you do when you know someone who is in pain, emotional pain? How do you help someone you love to cope with the pain, the anxiety, the fear? You can’t say…”I know how you feel” unless you actually have felt that way before. How many people can say, I have felt the pain of severe anxiety, the emotional distress of not wanting to face anyone?

Do you know how it feels to have your body clam up? You shake, you shiver, you have extreme stomach pains, you feel like bugs are crawling on your skin and your fingers tingle from the numbness. Loud noises make you nauseous, certain smells trigger a gag reflex. Your head feels like it’s going to explode. You want out of your body now!

Sleep is difficult, time goes by slowly. You pray you or your loved one will get better every hour of every day. You feel like you can’t talk to anyone abut your problem or they will think you are crazy, but you know you are NOT!!!

You try to breathe, but inhaling is difficult, your chest feels like it’s going to cave in. You try to eat, but just the thought of eating makes you feel ill. If people weren’t so mean and opinionated, if they didn’t have to criticize you about your hair, your clothes, your shoes. Maybe that would make a difference. Maybe, if everyone knew how that person who just wants to die felt inside, they would stop the cruelty.

But the world must go on with cruel, vindictive people in it. Until a new generation of healers arise to show the consciousness of others how to treat everyone as equal, no matter what. Not everyone is smart, or pretty, or creative. But we are all human, with feelings. We are all capable of loving without prejudice. My hope is that someday soon, the tides will change for the better good of mankind. Let’s work together to stop the pain.

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