Saving Angel

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For the past two days, a bird was sitting on my fence out in my backyard. I thought it was strange that a bird was out on the fence after dark and was wondering why she was sitting there, looking at me, like she had a message to give. I opened the screen door and walked outside towards her, as I got closer, she flew down to the other side of the fence, but did not fly away. I turned around and came back into the house and closed the screen door again. I went back to what I was doing and again, she was sitting on the fence, peeping away, hopping along the fence, back and forth as if she was anxious about something. I thought, there is something going on for the bird to sit there in the dark. But it did not connect, yet.

The night went on, strangely, I had a dream about helping a little boy, who was trying to get into a tree, once I helped him up, the boys’ grandmother came over and thanked me. Then I woke up. I came downstairs in the morning, again, sitting there on the fence, was the same bird. She would go over to the tree, then to the fence, then back to the tree. I decided to take a picture of her since she was sitting there on a branch and was not leaving. She was beautiful and I could almost see the concern in her eyes. She got louder as I got closer to her but still did not move. All I could think is there is something she is trying to tell me but I didn’t know what! I was taking pictures of random plants and then I saw the bird look over at the tree. Then it dawned on me, I wonder if she’s missing a baby or something. As I looked over at the tree, with my camera lens, I scoped out the area and there he was, on the ground! A little baby bird had fallen out of his nest. I snapped a quick picture, put my camera down and ran over to the tree.

As I was running over, my big St. Bernard, Lady followed me. She spotted the bird too! I freaked out as she snatched up the little baby bird in her mouth and ran off!! I yelled, “Lady, drop it now”! Thankfully, she listened to me and did just that! I was so worried for the furry little guy, he must of thought , that was it! Good-bye cruel world! I scooped up the baby bird and gently rubbed his head with my thumb. He was still alive! I was so grateful to see him breathing, then he opened his little mouth as if to say, I’m hungry, please feed me. I called to my daughters to come and help out. They immediately came to the rescue.

We got a stool and tried to figure out where the nest was. After about 10 minutes, we finally saw it. It was hidden really well, right in the middle of the peach tree. After squeezing my body into the tree, that has the strongest little branches I have ever climbed, I was able to see the opening of the nest. I asked my daughter to hand me the baby bird. I gently placed the little guy back into the nest after feeling to make sure I didn’t place it on top of another bird. I then managed to climb up higher into the tree and saw that the little bird had a sibling. It looked at me, opened its mouth wide as to say, I’m hungry again, then realized I was not his momma and ducked his head tightly into the nest.

I jumped down, out of the tree, wiped off the dust and took a deep breath. I felt relieved that the bird was okay and seemed like it would survive now that mom and dad know he is nestled safely back home. After about ten minutes, my daughter said, “Mom, the bird is still sitting on the fence, looking in the house, I think she wants to thank you.” I stepped outside, looked at the bird and said, “You’re welcome!” Then she flew back up into the nest and had a conversation with her mate.

I hope the baby bird survives this ordeal that must have been terrifying. I believe my dream signified the boy as the bird and the grandmother as the mother bird. Good deed for today…Done!

Oh, we decided to name him Angel, because he had angelic feathers coming out of his little head.

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Giving life a second chance.

Today while watching my daughter at the pool, she spotted a bee. Immediatly, she started freaking out, asking me to get the bee out. I found a leaf and pulled the little guy to safety. He was disoriented for a bit but then started to walk around after feeling the suns warmth.

After about 2 minutes, still not being able to fly, he started walking toward me. I looked down at him and saw him drying his body and wings off with his tiny legs and tongue. It was quite an amazing sight. I, being the photo nut that I am, started taking pictures. I then noticed he was watching me take his picture and it looked as if he was bowing to say thank you.

I walked away to take pictures of others things for about 15 minutes, when I came back to my seat, I saw the bee sitting by my shoes. He then wwalked away and tried to fly, he did a flip and fell to the ground. He walked awway a little farther…flipped his wings a bit and then tried again. This time, he flew straight up, then back and forth, like a flying saucer would and took off! That made me feel really good.

I gave this little life a second chance.

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Life Force

Life Force.

The power of life and the forces of will, strengthen the soul.
Letting the energy flow within, through the skin into the blood,
the body will regenerate the life force. Love yourself and do
not fret the black energy, for negative thoughts will only hinder your
vision.

Lost in Time

Sometimes we struggle in life to know where we really belong. You may think you are meant to be in a certain place and in fact, you probably are, for a while anyway. Then we may lose sight of what is right in front of our eyes. Time passes so quickly and we get comfortable in our surroundings, a lot of times we get too comfortable. We stop caring for ourselves thinking it’s okay, I take care of that tomorrow, but then, it’s the next day and then it’s a month later and a year later and then…it’s too late. We have let go.

We all need a push sometimes, a friend to lend a hand, a sister, a brother a father or a mother. Whomever it may be, a shoulder can be there. But what happens when you feel lost and alone? You feel like no one will understand. You have reached your limits, what do you do? Where do you go? How do you take on the roll you have been handling all along? Suddenly, you feel in another world, out of this world, from the moon, maybe.

We have to be strong for our family, people say. Well, we can’t always be strong or we will become a rock in our own prison. A lost soul, in a world of hardened hearts, lost in time. Life can not go on like that or we will begin to regret what we have worked so hard to keep sane for. Pushing forward, letting go, moving on or standing still. We all need someone to help us through the wormhole.

A cobweb man

His pain in the words of another. My pain in the words of a mother.

He will never say how much pain he is in, as it has always been. He used to be so vain when he was a young man. Always a wanderer, philanderer, singer, guitar player for the band. Now the years have passed, two marriages failed. Six children, five step-children, many grandchildren and a widower in his cobwebbed mind.

Tell me when I should have forgiven him for all the pain he caused to so many people. Why have I grown a bitter feeling, instead forgiveness. He was my world in my youth. We all looked up to him for strength, maturity and grace and advise. Instead we got denial, cover-ups, deceit and lies. The hurt is too deep for my sister and her world that he took away.

I remember the days of waiting for him to get home, mom told us he was working, but she knew he was flirting, hurting, being selfish,being the you that you are. Leaving another scar in her heart, driving their love apart.

Time to move on now, even though I have tried before. I know the end is near. I don’t know if I will be upset and that, I fear. I have a promise to my children, that I will never let them have a father like him. They are my world, my light, how could a man be so selfish to not show how much he cares to his own children?

I am writing these words for him, as I try to forgive him for the man he has been. May he find peace and happiness as he flows back into the universal pool of energy and come back as a better man.

Loved Ones and Anxiety

What do you do when you know someone who is in pain, emotional pain? How do you help someone you love to cope with the pain, the anxiety, the fear? You can’t say…”I know how you feel” unless you actually have felt that way before. How many people can say, I have felt the pain of severe anxiety, the emotional distress of not wanting to face anyone?

Do you know how it feels to have your body clam up? You shake, you shiver, you have extreme stomach pains, you feel like bugs are crawling on your skin and your fingers tingle from the numbness. Loud noises make you nauseous, certain smells trigger a gag reflex. Your head feels like it’s going to explode. You want out of your body now!

Sleep is difficult, time goes by slowly. You pray you or your loved one will get better every hour of every day. You feel like you can’t talk to anyone abut your problem or they will think you are crazy, but you know you are NOT!!!

You try to breathe, but inhaling is difficult, your chest feels like it’s going to cave in. You try to eat, but just the thought of eating makes you feel ill. If people weren’t so mean and opinionated, if they didn’t have to criticize you about your hair, your clothes, your shoes. Maybe that would make a difference. Maybe, if everyone knew how that person who just wants to die felt inside, they would stop the cruelty.

But the world must go on with cruel, vindictive people in it. Until a new generation of healers arise to show the consciousness of others how to treat everyone as equal, no matter what. Not everyone is smart, or pretty, or creative. But we are all human, with feelings. We are all capable of loving without prejudice. My hope is that someday soon, the tides will change for the better good of mankind. Let’s work together to stop the pain.

Streets of Terror

We live in a time where every street corner is a reign of terror. I’m scared for the young. Our children are growing up in a world of violence and terrorism. I miss the days of not knowing the dangers of society. Our children will not know that feeling. The authorities and higher ups say, “don’t expose your children to the truth.” How can we not? But how do you explain to a 6 year old that people do bad things just to be bad. They must know about the danger in the world that surrounds them. We can not lie to them. It is our duty as parents to protect our children, but they can be blind to the evil in this world.

I know I cannot be there every moment of the day, but I wish I could. I am scared to death to let my kids go anywhere without me. I fear there may a suspicious package or crazed lunatic at school, at the mall, at the store. You just never know now. Our streets are turning into that of a Third World Country. It’s time our Country does something to help the mentally ill. We can no longer push these people aside like they don’t exist. Maybe if more people were tolerant of those with behavior problems from the beginning, our Country would be different.

But some are taught to hate, and taught greed and believe that material things make you who you are. I teach love and compassion and acceptance for all. My wish is that everyone would see the world in a better way, a peaceful way.

My heart goes out to all those affected by the violence in this Country and in the World.

Peace and Love to all…

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