The homeless

I saw a homeless man sitting outside a grocery store last weekend. He asked if I could spare some change and, I gave him my .60 cents. That is all I had left, since payday wasn’t for a few days. I gave him 2 Gatorade because he looked dehydrated. He was very grateful and said, you know what I want? I just want someone to talk to for a few minutes, so we talked for a bit, I learned that his Cody,he is from San Diego, CA, has no family here in town but has family in Minnesota.  He thought he could make it here, in Santa Clarita, but has fallen on hard luck.  He rides his bike that has a crate on two wheels attached to the back everywhere.  He fixes his bike with his spare money because it’s his transportaion.  He was so much happier when I left, than when I walked into the store.  Not because I have him 60 cents, but because I gave him my time, a smile, my voice and an ear to listen rather than shunning him. He has a heart and soul, just like the rest of us.  So, the next time someone asked for spare change, maybe what they really want is you to lend an ear and be a friend, if only for a moment.


Being bullied hurts, but Life goes on…

A little girl came home crying one day. Her mom asked her what’s wrong? She replied, “I don’t have any friends.” Her mom told her that is nonsense, she is always playing with her “friends” outside. The little girl said, I go outside, but no one plays with me, only one girl….her name is Hope. At school, no one plays with me, they make fun of me and call me names. They say I’m ugly, I’m a dog. I should go kill myself because no one but my mom will ever love me. The little girl went on with her life. The struggles with friendship continued… She met a friend when she was 10, they danced to Solid Gold and the Music Box Dancer together. One true friend. Then she moved away…again.

The struggles continued as she got older, kids putting notes in her desk, telling her don’t touch anything she’s so ugly it might rot. Her self-esteem was broken, she was sad and hurt. She was tired of being bullied, she always tried to do her best in school. Then, she moved again. Now, in high school, life was harder. She ran away from home, dabbled in drugs and turned to the streets, which seemed to be her only friend. Then she met another girl who was being bullied by a bunch of girls in 10th grade. She stood up for her because she knows how it feels. They became best of friends, but that too was cut short. Her friend moved away. She was lost again. Dropped out of school and met a boy.

This boy was nice at first, then started to abuse her, she thought it was normal since she watched it growing up. It was hard for her to cope. She had several jobs, tried any career or job she could to see where she fit in. The boyfriend became more threatening and abusive and she could no longer take the pain. She decided to end her life. No more pain, no more suffering, they were right. She was better off dead. She was rushed into the E.R. to get her stomach pumped, she was scared but knew it was the end, dying is easy. Living is the hard part. Or so she thought. Once released from the hospital, she changed, something inside her grew stronger. She felt alive, renewed, almost reborn. She then knew what she had to do. Her only chance was to leave, make a break for a new path in life. She ran or her life. She hid, as he chased her down the street, but she found her break. The bus came and took her away forever. Life as she knew it would change.

After the ordeal, she fell into the hands of some loving people, they did not judge her, only cared for her and helped her. She moved away, again. She found her calling, got two jobs, struggled to pay bills but was happy, on her own. This girl had no friends, but was determined to make new ones, not living in the past anymore, only looking to the future. After many trials and tribulations, she succeeded, she grew up, found her soul mate and has a wonderful family. She did not know that love was all around her the whole time due to the evil that blinded her.

Life is not always a bed of roses, although we would all like it to be. You need to be pricked by thorns in order to know what living means. She does not always understand the actions of people and tries not to let the bad get the worst of her. Living in a positive state of mind, letting the love, kindness and happiness flow.

She now has many, loving, kind and caring friends. Some are far and some are near, but all of them are close in her heart.

Loved Ones and Anxiety

What do you do when you know someone who is in pain, emotional pain? How do you help someone you love to cope with the pain, the anxiety, the fear? You can’t say…”I know how you feel” unless you actually have felt that way before. How many people can say, I have felt the pain of severe anxiety, the emotional distress of not wanting to face anyone?

Do you know how it feels to have your body clam up? You shake, you shiver, you have extreme stomach pains, you feel like bugs are crawling on your skin and your fingers tingle from the numbness. Loud noises make you nauseous, certain smells trigger a gag reflex. Your head feels like it’s going to explode. You want out of your body now!

Sleep is difficult, time goes by slowly. You pray you or your loved one will get better every hour of every day. You feel like you can’t talk to anyone abut your problem or they will think you are crazy, but you know you are NOT!!!

You try to breathe, but inhaling is difficult, your chest feels like it’s going to cave in. You try to eat, but just the thought of eating makes you feel ill. If people weren’t so mean and opinionated, if they didn’t have to criticize you about your hair, your clothes, your shoes. Maybe that would make a difference. Maybe, if everyone knew how that person who just wants to die felt inside, they would stop the cruelty.

But the world must go on with cruel, vindictive people in it. Until a new generation of healers arise to show the consciousness of others how to treat everyone as equal, no matter what. Not everyone is smart, or pretty, or creative. But we are all human, with feelings. We are all capable of loving without prejudice. My hope is that someday soon, the tides will change for the better good of mankind. Let’s work together to stop the pain.

Streets of Terror

We live in a time where every street corner is a reign of terror. I’m scared for the young. Our children are growing up in a world of violence and terrorism. I miss the days of not knowing the dangers of society. Our children will not know that feeling. The authorities and higher ups say, “don’t expose your children to the truth.” How can we not? But how do you explain to a 6 year old that people do bad things just to be bad. They must know about the danger in the world that surrounds them. We can not lie to them. It is our duty as parents to protect our children, but they can be blind to the evil in this world.

I know I cannot be there every moment of the day, but I wish I could. I am scared to death to let my kids go anywhere without me. I fear there may a suspicious package or crazed lunatic at school, at the mall, at the store. You just never know now. Our streets are turning into that of a Third World Country. It’s time our Country does something to help the mentally ill. We can no longer push these people aside like they don’t exist. Maybe if more people were tolerant of those with behavior problems from the beginning, our Country would be different.

But some are taught to hate, and taught greed and believe that material things make you who you are. I teach love and compassion and acceptance for all. My wish is that everyone would see the world in a better way, a peaceful way.

My heart goes out to all those affected by the violence in this Country and in the World.

Peace and Love to all…


Hiding Emotions


Why do we try to hide when we cry?  As an adult we feel shame in our tears.  Is it fear of people knowing our business?  What happened to open arms, open hearts and open minds?

As a child we feel we need to let the world know that something is wrong or upsetting us or even scaring.   The innocence is taken  too soon for a lot of us.  We needn’t let go, we should hold on forever to that feeling of trust.

If we keep going this way we’ll all have to pay for the next man’s sorrows.  That is something we can all do without.

Let’s live life the way it was meant to be, help one another when the need is there.  Offer your friend, neighbor, relative or even stranger an ear or hand or shoulder to cry on.  We are human after all.